Okay With the Dirt

Isaiah is very interested in playing in the dirt, these days. He loves the rocks and the tools and messiness of it all combined. "Mama, come." This is what he says to me as I sit near-by in a chair. He looks at me, says "Mama come," while pointing to a spot right next to him on the patio floor! Being with him means, literally, being as close as possible in proximity to him in what he is doing.

Getting down to where he is, stopping what I am doing, and learning how to play again is helping me with humility. There are so many times when I am teaching the boys, that I realize they are teaching me. Many times I hear my own voice coming right back at me when it initially was meant for the boys to hear. "Ask Jesus to give you grace to obey." "I did not say no. I simply said yes with a wait attached." "You can trust me." "Say 'I am loved,' 'I am blessed.'" "You are doing a great job." "Love does not hurt. It is patient. It is not rude." "Acknowledge someone when they are speaking to you." Oh to be humbled by those that you would not expect it to come from.

Children are a blessing because they ruin all the parts of you that have been exalting themselves. God is gracious to bring me to my knees in such a sweetly, packaged way: Isaiah and Jeremiah!

Hallelujah for being okay with the dirt - for being okay with being brought low...

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:8-13

1 Foot After Another

This is one of those mornings that I would rather swim in my coffee (more like fall asleep on a comfy floaty inside my cup of coffee)! As long as possible, I lingered in bed (with one eye open and the other closed) while the boys amused themselves with blankets and pillows. As soon as possible, I grabbed the coffee pot and poured myself a welcoming mug full of the stuff - juice of the bean (we drink so much juice in our home that one day that's how I called it when Isaiah asked what it was).

I would much rather wave good-bye to the idea of being awake and engaged. Today, I need grace - much grace - to want what God has for me this day - to want what God has for my family today.

"Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days." Psalm 90

"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you." Psalm 143

"So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." Hebrews 4

LORD, as I struggle with life today, I pray for those that will be reading this post who are experiencing similar emotions. Give me grace to endure; give them grace to endure. Give me fresh vision to press on; give them fresh vision to press on. I ask for eyes to see and ears to hear what you are doing this day, Abba Father. Holy Spirit come. Fill me; fill them. Jesus, in your name, amen.

Revived

The boys were immunized today. The needle pierced through, the tears came, and the comforting arms embraced each fear away. Their health is ultimately revived due to being immunized; the health of the whole is revived because of immunization.

How do I explain that what they are receiving is a good thing - that it is a gift? How do I tell them that the pain is part of the package - a good package? How do I help them think of their shots as something to turn towards and see, rather than, shrink away from and reject?

As I pondered these thoughts, the LORD brought to mind how I have been brought through similar things in the spiritual sense. I often have gone down through the valley, in life, to then be brought back up to the mountain top. Challenges have been given to me (freely allowed by my Heavenly Father) that initially bring pain - like the pain of a needle - and in turn produce health to my mind, heart, and spirit. Challenges build my character. Challenges cause me to be revived and in a way, immunized, against the many punches and blows that any given day can produce.

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5

Just Another Day???

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

Today, my soul needs speaking to. It needs to be reminded and exhorted: The LORD is your strength, oh my soul. He is your hope, vision, and stay, oh my soul. Lift up your eyes, oh my soul, to the hills where your Help comes from. Take courage. Find new strength, my soul, in the LORD.

The boys need to be covered in prayer. My husband needs to be covered in prayer. The rest of my beautiful family - two beautiful young women - needs covering.

And so, LORD, Most High, I come and bring myself to you. I bring my family to you. I ask you to be my strength in my weakness. In my weakness, today, I bring myself. I surrender and confess my impatience and irritability and frustrations. Come, LORD, come. Holy Spirit, come and fill me. Be my family's shield. Be our Helper.

Blessed are the Merciful

My Minnesota family/friends are telling me of the snow that has already begun to fall - winter has arrived early for them! As hard as the snow is to endure, day after day, it is not as much the snow as it is the cold. The snow is beautiful as it falls to the ground; It is beautiful as it crunches beneath your feet; It is beautiful when your ski's are paving their way through it on a cold, hillside. The cold, on the other hand, leaves you wanting to put more layers on when you already have three on. Anymore layers than that and you begin looking like a walking cotton ball!

One of my favorite times of enjoying the snow is when I can snuggle up on a couch, in perfect view of each flake slowly falling down upon the tree branches. In hand, I either have a cup of coffee or a cup of hot chocolate - occasionally it might be hot apple cider. If I have a choice, I will always add a fire place to the environment too!

Of course, down in Miami, I am not experiencing any of that, but hallelujah for a good memory - MANY memories to choose from. And I can think of the snow and relate it to how I am feeling today as I endure through Christ's exhortation to be merciful. "Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy." (Matthew 5:7)

Just as the snow can create a blanket effect, so can the mercy extended to a fellow neighbor. Mercy is like a blanket given to a cold-hearted/bitter neighbor, a neighbor either far into sin or simply slipping up at the moment, a neighbor who is hurting only because of life kicking them around - no matter what the situation, mercy is that blanket that soothes that need in the heart and mind and spirit. And it can be easy to give or it can be really hard. Today, I am having a hard time extending that mercy because it is to someone who has been cruel to me - a cruelness that never received a resolve on their part. I am still having to speak out forgiveness when I am tempted to hold a grudge. So, through tears at times, God is giving me grace to extend the mercy needed - the same mercy that I constantly am receiving from my LORD and Savior. How can I not do the same...

Where is the Thorn Found?

Where is the thorn found except next to something absolutely breath-taking. There is beauty that accompanies a thorn. A thorn is upstaged by the petals of a majestic rose (I recognize there are other places in the plant world where thorns are found - for now I am merely singling out a rose's thorn). I wonder if God thought about the parallels that thorns would have when it came to our lives. Did He think of the thorn and then think of pain? Or did He think of the thorn as beautiful?

A beautiful thorn...is it possible? Is it possible for something that causes pain to be beautiful? Is it possible to handle a thorn without being hurt? Yes, I think that once one learns what a thorn is and how to recognize what it will do, that then it is possible to not be hurt by them.

I think of a professional gardener - someone who is constantly around plants and flowers and bushes...I am picturing hands with callouses and scares and dirt under the nails. Though, after a while, I am sure gloves are used on those professional hands. At first, was there such eagerness and pride to think that those gloves were not needed?

I think of myself...How eager I have been in life, at times...My pride has often come before a fall.

Hallelujah that God has been there every time to pick me up and show me the way through. He has shown me how to move on - one moment at a time, sometimes.

Recently, I was reminded of the words of Paul, the apostle: "Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)

I have something/someone in my life right now that is my thorn, and the LORD was exhorting me to embrace this time as refinement needed to my flesh. There are days coming when it will be even more intense, and I need the equipping to be prepared. My flesh is weak and in need of this "thorn" to pierce it. To me the "thorn" is piercing the parts of me that want to be accepted and liked - the approval of man is strong in me. Christ was never about the approval of man; He was all about His Father's opinion - His and His alone: "Your approval means nothing to me, because I know you don’t have God’s love within you. For I have come to you in my Father’s name, and you have rejected me. Yet if others come in their own name, you gladly welcome them. No wonder you can’t believe! For you gladly honor each other, but you don’t care about the honor that comes from the one who alone is God." (John 5:41-44)

To be rejected by someone you see everyday hurts. To be cursed at and thought of with evil intent is rough. There is no part of enduring through hardship that I enjoy. Hallelujah that God is giving me eyes to see eternally.

Hallelujah for a thorn that is causing my selfishness - my flesh - to bow its knee to the LORD.

More About Them; Less About Me

More about them and less about me. That is just how it works. If something needs to increase, something else has to decrease.

When Isaiah was growing inside of me, I had less and less of me and more and more of him. My body was less and less my own, and more and more of him. My organs and bones literally had to make room for him! Now that is intense - my internal organs and parts shifting out of their original spots - positions that each part has known for so many years. WHAT! Hallelujah for God's amazing miracle in child rearing...

I summed up my pregnancy with Isaiah in these words: "It is the most beautiful way of becoming less selfish."

Hallelujah that God does not leave us as we are. He promises to come along side of me (and you) and help me through each time of refinement - refinement with the purpose of bringing glory to his name and bringing me closer to him (He being perfect, much like a lazer beam used in surgeries these days, must have us be in the same likeness in order to stand anywhere close to Him - light meeting with light does not need to adjust much because it is in the same likeness.).

As the days have continued to progress through motherhood (and marriage and many other areas of life), I have had on-going moments of being beautified in the service of these boys - men of God in small packages. Some days I seem to surrender much easier to the demands that each moment can bring (and with two children, it seems like the punches to my flesh have so much more force behind them!). Other moments I need to give myself a time-out!!! When my patience has been stretched past its breaking point, I can be insensitive and rude - ouch! Those days, I can end up asking the boys for forgiveness at least three times, if not more. Hallelujah for grace and mercy reigning in a family.

Refreshment in Friends

My family and I had the privilege of having a friend from Minnesota visiting with us for the past few days. Not only was she a refreshment to have with us, but also who and what she represents for us - MN. Anytime we have had visitors from MN, it always adds that extra hug of joy to our hearts. In some ways, one may say it is a two-fold gift.

Representation is a big deal. Just as a friend may represent a group of people or a place may represent a person or a child may represent a parent or a parent may represent a child - so our LORD and Shepherd is represented by those who are disciples.

Often, I am humbled by how my interaction with the boys is a representation of how the LORD interacts with me. How I speak with the boys is how they will see the LORD speaking to them. How I respond to them, how I love on them, how I pay attention to them, how I discipline them...all of it is a representation to them of who the LORD is. This will continue for some time until they have their own firmly grounded relationship with the LORD.

The boys are looking to me to lead them, guide them, teach them, protect them, provide for them, and so on and so forth; I am looking to the LORD to be those things for me and my family.

		Psalm 23 "The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.
		He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.
		Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
		You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.
		Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,  And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

The Name is in the Hat

A hat has never been more appreciated than in these intensely hot, Miami days! Isaiah grew into and out of his hat while taking many walks in Minnesota; Jeremiah is now wearing the same hat, only this time, in Miami. No matter what you call it, a hat is still a hat, just as the sun is still the sun. The hat shielded Isaiah's tender skin from the sun, which now, is shielding Jeremiah's tender skin. The hat may not survive as long as it did down here because it is being used year-round, whereas, up in MN, it only got used a few months.

Recently, Isaiah has been using my name excessively...yes, excessively. It sounds odd to say, yet, I must say that it is true. Sometimes, in one minute, it seems that it comes out of his mouth ten times, back-to-back. "Mommy, mommy, mommy!" Or it might be written like this: "MommY." I remember the days when he was just beginning to speak, and I longed to hear him say my name. Now, I must remind myself, when he uses it so frequently, that it is a blessing! I want him to know that I will come to him whenever he calls on my name because I want him to learn that God is the same way. Whenever God is called upon, He comes near. And just as that hat is a shield to the boys, so God is a shield all around them, to protect them from the enemies that lurk around every corner.

"I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer. Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings from the wicked who assail me, from my mortal enemies who surround me." (Psalm 17: 6-9)

The Workings of Yeast

Yesterday, I decided to venture off into the bread, baking realm! I grabbed my packet of yeast, chose the most simplest of bread recipes, and began the first step of mixing the yeast with warm water. Upon that foaming up, I began adding the flour. After mixing it all up and then letting it rise for about an hour, I called Isaiah over to help me break it up into dinner roll, sized portions. He gladly accepted and was right into the messiness with me!

I let Isaiah put together his own dinner roll and put it in the small Euro Pro Convection Oven to bake on its own. Of course he was super excited to watch it rise and cook! The excitement grew even more as he got to take it out, smell it (ahhh, the smell of fresh, baked bread!), and begin eating it! His own hard work paying off!

It's in those little things, those moments that are so second nature to me - being in the kitchen to prepare a meal - that I must remind myself how to incorporate Isaiah into the process. He has such a desire to learn and grow and discover. As hard as it can be at times to slow down and explain things to him and even have him do things right along with me, the benefits greatly outweigh any possible hindrance. Hallelujah for times to teach and times to learn.

This morning, I found myself demanding my time with the LORD, in His Word. I literally had to tell Isaiah (Jeremiah has his best times of long contentment in the morning - this I am slowly learning to utilize more) that I was taking time for myself. He understood, though, challenging the circumstances once and awhile (absolutely love that about him and find myself encouraging him to be persistent and determined - without whining of course - in those moments of whining I explain to him how God does not like us to complain, but be thankful). I was also able to take time singing and playing the guitar - much needed time of worshiping. (I think I will find that very early in the day is going to be the best time for both of those. The demanding part will have to accompany it for awhile until the boys understand that each day will look that way.)

As I was in the Word, what did I come across in my reading but the portion of scripture when Jesus speaks of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees. "Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees...he was not telling them to guard against the yeast used in bread, but against the teaching" (Matthew 16).

I looked up from the Bible, saw Isaiah and Jeremiah, and realized the sensitivity in which Jesus was speaking. Teaching, of any kind, is either going to bring about righteous thinking and action or it is going to bring about unrighteous thinking and action. Just as I have had to learn how to discern which is which, over the years, Isaiah and Jeremiah will have to do the same. Only, right now it is my responsibility, and my husbands, to give them right teaching. We have the responsibility of leading them down the straight and narrow, straight into the arms of their LORD. Paying attention to each detail of their habits and expressions and desires is vital right now. Letting simple things pass right by could potentially be just enough to grow into something much bigger - unrighteously speaking - just as Jesus was referring to when he said "be on guard". We, my husband and I, are their gate keepers, their filters (of course the Holy Spirit is greatly at work where we fall short) until they can do it themselves. And that, my friends, is a sobering reminder.

Hallelujah for God's amazing grace and mercy for us all, as we parent.

The Importance of Being Still

The other day, as I was outside with the boys, Isaiah was playing by the palm tree. I looked up and saw this beautiful sight! The intricate details of the palm captured my mind. Contentment had it's way with me for a few minutes...

This morning, I was holding Jeremiah in my lap and looking at Isaiah as he sat on the floor. Isaiah's face transformed from one expression to the another, and I was so pleased to truly capture him as I was willing to simply be still. My mind was not on the next thing I needed to accomplish; it was simply content to know who Isaiah was at that moment in time.

A few minutes later, Isaiah climbed onto my lap. I had Jeremiah in one arm and Isaiah in the other. I continued in the same mind-set and began kissing them...one kiss after another, switching off from one son to the next.

Just as the LORD has commanded me to "be still and know that He is God" (Psalm 46), He encourages me to apply the same concept to those that are my neighbor - those that are near to me in the physical sense - and be aware of who they are.

Being still in thought and in action allows me to capture the beauty of any given moment. It is a guarantee that there will always be something to be encouraged by if I simply stop and see things the way that God see them. Hallelujah for new days and God's mercy being right there to give us another try to do it all better than we did the day before.

The Importance of Importance

The importance of what is important has never been more sensitive than now. Since becoming a mother, the LORD has instructed me again and again on how to prioritize righteously. How do I decide between the boys and the dishes? When do I sit with the boys while they play with cars or trains INSTEAD of getting some bills paid? Do I choose laundry or the boys? When should I sit down to write to all of you? When do I choose to play with the kids rather than clean the kitchen floor? How can I continue to work on my music while the boys are present? When should I nap - what day, that is? THIS, my friends, has become even more of a challenge now that Jeremiah has come to me. Jesus HELP!

I never thought I would be a professional juggler, but that is what motherhood truly is!!! A manager is one who can hold many pieces together, calmly, and effectively. That too, is something I never thought I would do. YET, here I am today, managing and juggling a household. One moment at a time, is how I roll with things. Keeping a list of things to accomplish is what has seemed to help me. When the boys lay down for their nap, I find that I am most effective if I brew a cup of coffee and take one item on my list at a time, starting with the most important first. One by one, I get things done, and when the boys wake up, I just know that I need to push the pause button on whatever I am in the middle of. I do end up, eventually, getting back to whatever was put on pause...I must say that the "pause button" is one of my favorite, tangible ways of extending grace to myself.

Loving the Lakes

 I grew up in lake country. I knew them to be home and the ocean to be a vacation spot. Now, I consider the ocean my home and the lakes as a vacation spot. So to be back in Minnesota, recently, I was so pleased to relive the refreshment of fresh, water lakes.

Depending on the size of lakes, most of them are calm. Going to a lake, walking to the end of a dock, taking my shoes off (During this trip to MN, my sister blessed me with a new pair of Reef sandals! Thanks, sis!), and dangling my feet in the water is soothing to my soul. Peace and joy flood my heart and mind. I can look out and enjoy the sight of the reflection of the trees and sky on the water (especially when there is no wind - hard to have happen at the ocean).

I am thankful that the boys will have many opportunities to experience lake life. It is so good for them to understand different types and sizes of bodies of water. Thus far, Isaiah looks at lakes and calls them pools! To him, to see the other side of a body of water means that it is a pool because that is what he can do in a pool - see the other side and swim to the other side. In the ocean, he cannot see where it ends. It is very big and very wild. Pools and lakes are calm and much smaller. Allowing Isaiah to have his first swim in a lake was wonderful (I was thankful that he had the comfort of his Aqua-Leisure Swim Vest - FABULOUS for helping toddlers learn how to swim and be comfortable in the water - he has used it so many times in the pool, back home).

Brotherhood

Hallelujah for brotherhood! As we press on through the attempted pummeling and attempted face examinations (the finger poking to the extreme!), I am thankful. The LORD is giving me wisdom in how to show them ways to interact safely and play together, though they are at different places in their development. A few minutes ago, I was giving Isaiah a time out due to smacking Jeremiah in the head with the V-tech Move & Crawl Ball! And now, yet again, Isaiah was throwing his Baden Mini-star soccer ball at Jeremiah's head (for some reason thinking that his brother was going to play catch with him!) while Jeremiah was bouncing in his Evenflo ExerSaucer (highly recommend). I must admit that as much as Isaiah is having to be rebuked, he is also being encouraged for his excellent ideas in blessing Jeremiah with joy and companionship. Hallelujah for grace and patience to take one day at a time as we marvel at love growing in our midst.

Naples, FL

As a family, we recently visited Naples, Florida. Hallelujah for the breath-taking views of God's magnificent creation! It was a two day trip, with a stay over in the Inn of Naples (highly recommend). The amount of time in the car (about two hours from where we are in Miami) is just right for a good nap for the kids and just right for a good conversation between me and my hubby. We enjoyed the beach and the pier and food at 5th Ave Coffee Co. & 6th Street Diner (highly recommend).

As a native Minnesotan and now as a Floridian, I often have to remind myself of all that is within a few hours drive (that many people fly all over the world to come and see) - the gulf side of Florida, the Keys, the beaches lining the Atlantic Ocean, many cities/towns, and much more. What I often have to do is correlate a drive to Duluth, Minnesota (highly recommend - Lake Superior is much like visiting the ocean - without the salt water and sand and shells) with any of the potential drives in Florida.

Anything Outdoors

The boys are all about anything outdoors. Any time there is a need for a fresh perspective, stepping outside always does it for them..and me! Hallelujah for the ministry of God's creation; the trees of the fields literally clap their hands and the rocks really cry out! Rejoice in the LORD for the day that He has made. No matter what the day may bring, the kids are constantly reminding me of what is important and what is not. I am not saying that the bills, meals, laundry, writing, music, practicing, or etc is not important; I am saying that God always wants us to be thankful and prayerful at all times, no matter what may be insurmountable in thought or deed.

Stepping outside works for the boys at all hours of the day. I will receive the exhortation from my LORD to do the same - all the while, praying, "Help me and my family number our days aright."

One-Handed Wonder

Mama=One-Handed Wonder!

Hallelujah for being able to do things with one hand while holding a child in the other! I was doing laundry and found myself buttoning a button with one hand! At moments like that, I must remind myself of how I used to do things. What used to take both of my hands, now only requires one. The LORD truly does work miracles in our lives - our minds and hearts is where it often begins.

Recently, I traveled, solo, with the boys, to Minnesota (we had not visited since moving down to Miami). I was fearful (which I had to constantly surrender to the LORD) of how I would do it, but God took that temptation to fear and made me stand in awe of His ability in the face of my inability. He provided patience, and also, provided other people to be extra arms and hands.

So whether it is me being a one-handed wonder or someone else coming along to offer a third hand/arm, all things are possible to those who believe that the LORD is Master of all.

Jeremiah is born!

Greetings! It has been too long since my last post. From one mama to another, my excuse is that I gave birth to my second son on May 21st!

Jeremiah is beautiful, and it has taken a new juggling act to get myself back to a place of smooth operation! Hallelujah for the grace of God because it has been tough to be a mama to two children. Blessings to all you mama's out there! Good job! Keep up the hard work of all the investing you are doing - loving them is of eternal worth.